by Evil Chris Priestly

I could tell you more about celebrities, like Brandon Routh, Charisma Carpenter and Lou “The Incredible Hulk” Ferrigno that I have talked to. I could tell you more about San Diego and the very friendly locals who’ve been really kind to us here. I could even tell you the story of the hot pepper eating contest at dinner last night (which I won), but today, I am going to tell you of carnage, swords and combat. I am going to tell you of the BioWare Brawl.

Our chief swag item this year is an inflatable sword. “Yeah Priestly, I know. I got one last year.” I hear you say. Well, that was a Dragon Age: Origins sword. This is a Dragon Age 2 swordstaff. Definitely not the same beast as last year’s model  . This is longer, holds the air better, and is used by a certain Hawke character during the demo. Now, free stuff is always popular at conventions, but I think that our swords are among the most popular of items available.

On Friday, BioWare’s Randall Bishop came up with the idea of having a BioWare Brawl on the front lawn of the hotel. We invited everyone to join us, passed out a heap of the famed inflatable swords and prepared to do battle. Randal lead Team Templars while David Silverman lead Team Mages.

Both sides squared off. Tensions were high but Team Mage quickly learned that Morrigan was on their side (yes, a fan dressed as Morrigan showed up for the fight. Post fight, I saw her with her family where she was nursing her kid. Could that have been the famed “God-baby”?) and gained an early edge in moral. Not to be outdone, Team Templar grabbed a passing Drell named Thane who used his skills for their side.

Both sides taunted. Both sides cheered. Hukkas were yelled, chants were chanted, spells were spelled. And then, the teams charged! Carnage swept the battlefield as inflatable swords were swung. Fathers were attacked by sons. Big green dinosaurs were attacked by swarms of small children. Both sides tried to attack Randall Bishop who went down under a sea of inflatable death cursing everyone for betraying him. Even Morrigan and Thane took their share of blows as teams mixed, swung and finally, retreated to help the wounded and bury the fallen.

Ok, I may be exaggerating a bit, but this is a framed narrative, so you will have to forgive me. In actuality, everyone had a great time. No one got hurt, if someone slipped people stopped to help them up, little kids were able to play with the adults and everyone blew off some steam. This was, after many days of standing in lines, waiting for panels, walking back and forth, a great stress release. Kudos to Randall for coming up with the idea. His gravestone will say “Here Lies Randall Bishop. Cut Down By His Own Good Idea. He Will Be Missed.”