Asunder Winning Entries

Thank you everyone for being patient! We were absolutely thrilled with the number of entries and passionate contestants who submitted stories in celebration of David Gaider’s latest book Asunder. Our inboxes filled to bursting with over 400 entries and we enjoyed reading the imaginative and harrowing tales you sent us.

In the end, I couldn’t be more pleased to say that David Gaider and his team of writers Tonia, Sheryl, Luke, and Mary read every single entry. All of them! So no matter how you did in the competition, you can now say that your work has been read by a BioWare writer. Kind of makes me wish I’d entered!

David and his team narrowed down the entries to the top 20. In alphabetical order (how orderly!):

  • “Absent” by Accursed Spatula
  • “Architect” by OatsMalone1
  • “As We Are” by Sagacious Rage
  • “Atonement” by bunny_girl1022
  • “Beyond These Pages” by Cerelinde
  • “Blessed are the Pure in Spirit” by trampledpixie
  • “Burdened” by Elliebean
  • “Chaff in the Wind” by Brynna1998
  • “Conspiracy Theory” by jenovan
  • “Eyes on Me” by Sandtigress
  • “the Flight” by J.M. Beck
  • “Harrowing” by Greer
  • “Horses, and the Smell of Snow” by Ghanima9
  • “Jinx” by Bethadots
  • “Last Strands of Childhood” by Kilyra
  • “Normal” by deekeh
  • “Penitence” by ColorMeSurprised
  • “Pinch’s Fascinations” by Firky
  • “Powerless” by Scary Lady
  • “To Represent an Order” by Ninebits

This was narrowed down by our ace team of writers to five entries. These five finalists will receive a signed copy of Asunder!

  • “Last Strands of Childhood” by Kilyra
  • “Horses, and the Smell of Snow” by Ghanima9
  • “Penitence” by ColorMeSurprised
  • “Powerless” by Scary Lady
  • “Normal” by deekeh

And our final winner, reciving a suite of Dragon Age II products from Razer and a moderated skype conversation with David Gaider, is Kilyra for “Last Strands of Childhood”!

We asked David about judging the contest and he had this to say, “Thank you to everyone who entered, and apologies to those who fell through the cracks because their story hit us at a tired moment or hit some pet peeve. We did our best, and were very impressed. Well done to you all.”

The lead writer of the Dragon Age franchise also wrote a special companion piece for the BioWare Blog discussing his overall thoughts and a few dos and dont’s. Read that here!

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Storming the Sand Castle

Storming the Sand-Castle

by David Gaider

So who am I to judge fanfiction?

The answer I would typically get for that is “you’re a professional writer”. While that’s true, my speciality lies in narrative design for games– and while I’ve written a few novels, I would hardly call them superior works even when held in comparison to similar works in the genre. I’m pretty critical of my own work (though not critical enough, as the first edits I tend to get back from my novels can attest– there is nothing more humbling than that, believe you me), though I’m told that’s not unusual for writers. A writer who’s wholly satisfied with what they produce isn’t likely to improve much. We tend to spend so much in the salt mines, agonizing over every phrasing that pretty soon it’s impossible to see past all the pain. You think it’s all crap, and while it probably is crap it’s also probably not as crappy as you think it is. The art, after all, lies in reaching your audience, not in your authorial intentions or your clever turn of a sentence or your good grammar.

Fanfiction, to me, is filled with plenty of art– despite what some would have you believe. It’s a way for many writers to develop their skills. They cut their teeth by playing in someone else’s sandbox before they develop their own, and it comes with the added benefit that they get to share their love with other fans. Yes, yes, it gets mocked a lot, and while there’s some truth to the idea that there’s a lot of bad fanfiction out there, the same can be said for almost any medium filled with hopeful beginners. What do you want? They’re learning. If there’s any criticism I would level, it’s that many fanfiction writers insulate themselves in the safe cocoon of an appreciative audience so that they never receive the criticism required to grow. There’s no harm in that; not everyone needs to grow as a writer– but those who do find that criticism, somewhere, can turn into pretty fantastic writers. Some of them choose to continue writing fanfiction, because that’s what they enjoy, and that doesn’t lessen their achievement in any way. They’re good, end of sentence.

Which means it was with some trepidation I took on the role of judge in the Dragon Age fanfiction contest, though “fanfiction” in this context probably isn’t accurate. Not many of the writers used our characters as more than cameos– and good thing: if your audience includes a character’s creator, you’re walking into a minefield. Do it well, and you’ll get extra points. Do it poorly, and you’ll lose more points than you can afford. It’s why I don’t tend to read real fanfiction much, as it’s difficult for me to see past all the fingerprints left on my creations, but that doesn’t mean I begrudge them the act. Even so, I don’t write fanfiction, or much short fiction at all. My last attempt was a short story I wrote for Fenris before I even knew the character well, done in a single afternoon on a tight deadline. I cringe when I look at it now, because I know I can do better. So I empathize with fans who engaged in a similar exercise, and hardly felt worthy to sit as judge for their worthy entries– especially knowing how much more trepidation they would feel, suddenly having an audience who was not a fellow fan but someone with proprietary interest in their sandbox.

Initially, I was only to read the top five entries and select a winner from among those. Chris and Jessica didn’t want to demand too much of my time, which I appreciated– yet when I finally read those it didn’t feel right. They were good, but if I was going to pick a winner and say “David Gaider thinks this one is the best”, I needed a larger sampling. So Jessica bundled up all four hundred entries and sent them my way. I still couldn’t physically read every single one, but I recruited the rest of the writing team to go through the pile… together we could cull it down to a group among which I would be happier to personally declare a winner, and we could then honestly say every single entry had been looked at by a BioWare writer. And I would get to read as many as humanly possible. That felt more than fair, I think.

Big task, though, and tough. Initially we thought it would be easier, that you would see very quickly when an entry just wasn’t going to make it to the final pile and thus it would be quickly discarded. There were some of those, sure, but the truth was that most entries were good enough to read to completion… leaving you to sit afterwards and decide just how much you liked it in comparison to the previous. Sometimes it was frustrating. More than once, after finishing a story, I was tempted to immediately email the entrant and tell them “You were doing so well, it was brilliant, and then you…” But I couldn’t do that. Not everyone could take that kind of personal criticism, or might even want it, and I’ve no need to be hurtful.

Still, after reading dozens and dozens of entries, some patterns began to emerge. Things that were irritating, or could have been easily avoided. Things that forced me to remind myself not all these people were experienced writers. There were good things, too, things that inspired me and made me want to sit down and write something of my own– which I wonder if some might find surprising. I don’t. Fans inspire me all the time. It’s why I enjoy interacting with them as much as I do.

So rather than email all those people, I thought I’d put together a small list of “do’s” and “don’t's” for this kind of writing– with a couple of caveats. One, that this is intended from my perspective as your intended audience and, to a lesser extent, as a writer of some experience. Two, that when it comes to writing, any rule exists to be broken. If you’re going to break rules, however, you need to do it with style.

1. DON’T start with description. This is a difficult point, as writers will have different opinions on when and where to use description– some will include scads and scads, while others will include almost none at all. I fall a bit into the latter category, preferring to give readers a feel for a character or a place and leave the rest to their imagination rather than spout off a laundry list of descriptive terms. So I may be a bit biased. Regardless, of all the places you should include description, the very beginning is not that place. You have one paragraph, maybe two, to grab a reader’s attention. Don’t waste it.

2. DON’T pull your punches. Not every piece of writing needs to be an exercise in emotional turmoil, but if that’s what your writing promises and where you see it going then don’t suddenly veer away and abandon that promise. There could be many reasons to do so. Maybe the idea of such harshness made you sad, or you loved your characters too much to do something so terrible. Trust me: writing is not meant to be a pleasant endeavour, not when you do it well. Some may accuse you of sadism, but they’ll love you all the more for it… and those characters of yours? If they could talk to you, they would not thank you for sparing them, for in gratifying yourself you have robbed them of immortality.

3. DO pay attention to flow. In creative writing, flow is more important than language. Some writers will abuse a thesaurus so badly you half-expect to find it wandering dazed alongside the highway, dress in tatters and lipstick smeared across its face. They laden their prose with words they fancy because they think it makes their writing more poetic. It doesn’t. It makes your prose heavy, and while there might be some readers who appreciate that, it won’t make you a better writer. Be sparing with your language, and realize there isn’t a sentence so clever it shouldn’t be cut if it doesn’t assist your purpose– which is telling a story. Cut out all your extra that’s and but’s and adjectives and adverbs (I often need this advice, myself). Slaughter your word-babies mercilessly, for that pain will put you in the habit of not over-populating your prose to begin with.

4. DO pay attention to your scope. Scope is something with which I am intimately familiar, for it is my eternal enemy in narrative design. Short stories are called that for a reason: they tell a small story, not a big one. Save your sweeping, epic sagas filled with flashbacks and multiple points of view for something larger. For now, decide what piece of a story you’re going to tell. Make it small, and use only the tools absolutely needed to reach your ending. Don’t introduce any more characters than you require, or even give the ones you do introduce names if those names are extraneous. If you end up writing something too large, consider starting over and cutting your scope rather than cutting– cutting is important, but you run the risk of it making your story choppy rather than lean if you cut too deeply.

5. DO the unexpected. There were some entries which made some delightful twists in their tale, without that twist coming across as forced… and there were others who, sadly, wrote something pedestrian when their set-up promised so much more. A well-written tale that goes nowhere interesting is no better than a poorly-written one. If your writing feels like work, and where you end up doesn’t excite you, then write something else… which is not to say that every single word should be honey-golden brilliance dripping from your pen. If you expect that, you will paralyze yourself. When you’re finished, however, what you’ve made should be satisfying. You’ll still think it sucks, because you’re a writer, but at the very least you should feel confident that you stretched your boundaries… even just a little.

I’ll leave it there, and hope those people who wrote an entry feel it more helpful advice than unwarranted criticism. Personally, I think every entrant did something admirable. It’s always risky to put something of yours out into unsafe waters where it can be subjected to scrutiny. A lot of feedback any author gets will be pointless or cruel, but some will be worthy– and, taken to heart, will help you improve. If you’ve learned something, then all the better. I know I have, and I want to thank everyone who entered. The love you poured into our little sandbox was both inspiring as well as humbling, and reminds me why I adore building these lovely sand-castles to begin with.

Find out who won here!

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Contests – Thank You!

The past few weeks have been a wild ride for the inboxes belonging to the BioWare Community team! We’ve had an outpouring of entries for our Dragon Age: Asunder Writing Challenge and our Blog Design Contest. Thank you to everyone who sent in entries; it’s always a joy and humbling experience to review such creative material. We’re very fortunate to have a community that’s so active and passionate.

Bear with us as we are currently reading over 400 entries (that’s a lot of hot cocoa by the fireside!).

Thanks also goes out to our friends at Razer for donating a suite of Dragon Age 2 Collector’s Edition line of products for our grand prize winner who will also enjoy a one-on-one chat with Asunder writer David Gaider!

 

We’ll be announcing the winners to both contests as soon as we can! Thank you for your extraordinary talents and patience.

 

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Discuss this (blog design contest)!

Interview with Cinematic Designer Jonathan Perry

Fan artist K. 'Myrak' Sweden painted this heroic fight between Hawke and Corypeus

Who are you and what is your role at BioWare?

My name is Jonathan Perry and I’m the Cinematic Lead on the Dragon Age franchise.

What is the best part about your job?

I always tell people my job is like being a film director, but inside a video game.  The great thing about cinematics is that we get to take all the amazing assets created by the other departments and combine them to create the final cutscenes and conversations you see in the game.  Our work is extremely dependant on writing, animation, level art, character art, visual effects, sound effects, and music, so we’re always collaborating with the other departments to make sure all the pieces fit together.

What does an average day look like for you?

As a lead I spend a lot of the day attending planning meetings and coordinating with the other departments to make sure we get the assets we need from them and vice versa.  The rest of an average day might include building stages for conversations, creating cutscenes (which could be anything from an emotional romance scene to a high-action combat scene), tweaking our various digital acting systems, and sometimes attending VO recording or motion capture sessions.

Can you tell us about one of your proudest moments working in game development?

Seeing your name in the credits is always an awesome feeling, but I’d have to say my proudest moment was working with the cinematic design team on Dragon Age II.  The whole team was so passionate about what they were making and consistently blew me away with the quality and quantity of work they produced.

What’s a geeky thing about you?

My early claim to fame was creating the first machinima about machinima, called Inside the Machinima.  It’s a virtual me giving a tour through a studio and talking about how making machinima is similar to real-world filmmaking.  It’s definitely amateur stuff compared to what I’m working on now, but it was the first thing I ever made in a game engine and it’s full of gaming jokes that I still think are pretty hilarious.

Do you have any advice for those wishing to get into the video game industry?

Make something!  Make characters, textures, animations, machinima, a mod or whatever you’re interested in doing.  There are lots of easily accessible game engines and toolsets out there to play with.  The results might not be very good at first, but keep making things and they’ll get better.  I love it when candidates have a big portfolio of work that shows they’re passionate about what they’re making and would be doing it even if they weren’t trying to get a job in the industry.  And play lots of games!  Be able to discuss a variety of games and what they did well or what could have been improved.

If you weren’t working in the industry, what would you be doing?

I’d probably be doing something very similar in the film industry.

What are you currently playing, reading, or listening to?

I’m between games right now, but I’m planning to immerse myself in Skyrim over the Christmas break.  I’m reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo in anticipation of the new film and am hooked on the new soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

 

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